A True Story Of Divorce – Jane’s Story
“I was 19 and still living at home when my parents split up. I remember coming home from work to find my Mom in tears as she told me my Dad was going to leave us. I didn’t know how to comfort her, especially when my whole world was changing around me.
I soon learned that during my parents’ 20 year marriage, my Dad had been having numerous affairs. We knew their marriage wasn’t perfect: my sister and I had always been scared of him because he had a bad temper and would blow up at us at any chance.
At first I thought I felt nothing, because he hadn’t been easy to live with in the first place. What can you lose when you had nothing in the first place? But I was confused, so I asked a friend if I could stay at her house because I was afraid my Dad would do something to me or my family. I became very frightened and felt out of control.
I turned to food and alcohol because, for me, that was a source of control: I wouldn’t eat for days, and if I felt too hungry I would binge and purge (eat and then throw it up). I also began to drink heavily and coupled with an empty stomach, I became very sick. I would sometimes wake up and have no idea where I was or what had happened the night before.
The more I tried to control my life, the more it spiraled out of control. I didn’t care what happened to me or about the consequences of what I was doing. I hopped from job to job, and I was losing friends quickly.
But, there were some people from a local youth group that were there for me – they cared about me, and wouldn’t let me go despite what I would do to them. They encouraged me to find a hobby and I began to find a purpose, helped by a religious faith. Although I didn’t immediately ‘change’, over time I got to a point where I could forgive my Dad for everything he had done. I still believe that he should have given my family and I a better life, but I have a better relationship with both of my parents now.”
Divorce is tough – but you can get through it. You don’t have to hurt yourself – or anyone else – to find the support that you need through a family’s divorce. If you ever need to talk, YLC is here for you. Remember that you are special and that your life is important.
You can make a difference in this world.